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Post by Mac on Mar 29, 2011 23:02:21 GMT 10
Sometimes people only open their mouth to change feet ;D
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Post by Bad Penny Customs on Mar 30, 2011 10:10:51 GMT 10
It is better to be silent and thought a fool than to open ones mouth and prove it.
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Post by kingy on Mar 30, 2011 10:34:33 GMT 10
the most stupid question to ask is not asking the question
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Post by Steve on Mar 30, 2011 10:34:55 GMT 10
;D
mumble mumphf mubblemumpfh nunnuther mumble
;D ;D
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Post by Mac on Mar 30, 2011 14:02:18 GMT 10
one for those a little older. Question.... What is Fe Fi Fo Fum??? Answer...Ita Butrose's phone number ;D
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Post by Bad Penny Customs on Mar 30, 2011 15:52:00 GMT 10
No such thing as a stupid question.........just stupid people.
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Post by dangermouse on Jul 5, 2011 20:44:14 GMT 10
Got to be something for everyone in here:
A bike on the road is worth two in the shed. A cold hamburger can be reheated quite nicely by strapping it to an exhaust pipe and riding forty kilometres. A friend is someone who’ll get out of bed at 2 am to drive his ute to the middle of nowhere to get you when you’ve broken down. A good long ride can clear your mind, restore your faith, and use up a lot of fuel. A good mechanic will let you watch without charging you for it. A good rider has balance, judgment, and good timing. So does a good lover. A motorcycle can’t sing on the streets of a city. A zest for living must include a willingness to die. Always back your bike into the curb, and sit where you can see it. Always replace the cheapest parts first. And lo, did'st from Heaven speak the Angel, saying, "Who haveth the keys to the seven gates but the One whose drive is of a shaft and of His cylinders shall there be two, and yea, His cylinders shall be arrayed in the sign of victory." Anybody can ride fast in a straight line. Beware the rider who says the bike never breaks down. Bikes don’t leak oil, they mark their territory. Bikes parked out front means good food inside. Blaming your prang on cold tyres is like blaming the corner for being too sharp or the bike for being too fast. Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul. Calling upon my years of experience, I froze and applied the ‘grip of death’. Catching a magpie in your shirt at 120km/h can double your vocabulary. Choppers are to motorcycling as World Championship Wrestling is to sport. Don’t argue with a semi-trailer. Don’t lead the pack if you don’t know where you’re going. Don’t make a reputation you’ll have to live down or run away from later. Don’t ride so late into the night that you sleep through the sunrise. Everyone crashes. Some get back on. Some don’t. Some can’t. Faster, faster, faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death... Good coffee should be indistinguishable from 50 weight motor oil. Grey-haired riders don’t get that way from pure luck. Have a wheelie NICE day. Home is where your bike sits still long enough to leave a few drops of oil on the ground. I believe in treating everyone with respect, but, first you have to get their attention. I'd rather be riding my motorcycle thinking about God than sitting in church thinking about my motorcycle I want to leave this world the same way I came into it: Screaming and covered in blood. If it wasn't for us the fast lane would rust. If she changes her oil more than she changes her mind follow her. If the bike isn’t braking properly, you don’t fix it by rebuilding the engine. If the person in the next lane at the stoplight rolls up the window and locks the door, support their view of life by snarling at them. If you ride for the rush don’t rush for the ride If you can’t get it going with fencing wire and electrical tape, it’s serious. If you don’t ride in the rain, you don’t ride. If you’re going to lead, then lead. If you’re going to follow, get out of the way! If you really want to know what’s going on, watch what’s happening at least five bikes ahead. If you ride like there’s no tomorrow, there won’t be. If you think you don’t need a helmet, you probably don’t. If you think loud pipes save lives, imagine what learning to ride properly could do! If you wait, all that happens is that you get older. If you want to get a job, you may have to compromise your principals (you may even have to shave). If you want to get somewhere before sundown, you can’t stop at every pub. Insisting on perfect safety is for people who don’t have the balls to live in the real world. It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share the bed. It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end. Keep thine eye on the tacho, thine ears on the engine, lest thy whirly bits seek communion with the sun. Keep your bike in good repair: Motorcycle boots are NOT comfortable for walking. Lean it & mean it in every corner of your life. Learn to do counter-intuitive things that may someday save your arse. Learning to ride at 50 is better than never learning to ride at all! Life may begin at 30, but it doesn’t get real interesting until about 150. Like other religions, motorcycling requires you to tithe on a regular basis. Maintenance is as much art as it is science. Midnight bugs taste best. Most motorcycle problems are caused by the nut that connects the handlebars to the saddle. Most motorcycle problems are caused by the nut that connects the steering wheel to the seat. Motorcycling is a self-regulating activity. Motorcycling is not, of itself, inherently dangerous. It is, however, extremely unforgiving of inattention, ignorance, incompetence, or stupidity NEVER argue with a woman holding a torque wrench. Never be afraid to slow down. Never be ashamed to unlearn an old habit. Never do less than forty kms before breakfast. Never hesitate to ride past the last street light at the edge of town. Never mistake horsepower for staying power. Never ride at 100% on a public road. Never ride faster than your guardian angel can fly Never trade the thrills of living for the security of existence. Never try to race an old bloke, he may have one more gear than you. No longer young enough to know it all. No matter what marque you ride, it’s all the same wind. Only a rider knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. Patience is the ability to keep your motor idling. People are like Motorcycles: each is customised a bit differently. Perky jugs make my wheels go 'round. (Moto Guzzi owners) Pies and coffee are as important as petrol. Practice wrenching on your own bike. Remember to pay as much attention to your partner as you do your carburettor. Respect the person who has seen the dark side of motorcycling and lived. Ride as if your life depends on it! Riding faster than everyone else only guarantees you’ll ride alone. Riding is living, everything else is just waiting Routine maintenance should never be neglected. Saddlebags can never hold everything you want, but they CAN hold everything you need. Saggy jugs make my wheels go 'round. (BMW owners) Seen on a motorcycle’s rearview: Warning: objects in mirror are disappearing rapidly Sleep with one arm through the spokes and keep your pants on. Sometimes it takes a whole tankful of fuel before you can think straight. Sometimes the best communication happens when you’re on separate bikes. Sometimes the fastest way to get there is to stop for the night. Some people confuse breathing in and out with living. Straight roads are for fast bikes. Twisty roads are for fast riders. The best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome. The best modifications cannot be seen from the outside. The only good view of a thunderstorm is in your mirror. The twisties – not the straights –separate the riders from the squids. There’s something ugly about a NEW bike on a trailer. There are drunk riders. There are old riders. There are NO old, drunk riders. There are only three sports: mountain climbing, bull fighting and motor cycle racing. All the rest are merely games. There are those who have crashed and there are those that will crash. There are two types of people in this world, people who ride motorcycles and people who wish they could Thin leather looks good in the bar, but it won’t save your arse from gravel rash if you go down. Two bikes are useful because at least one can be raided for parts at any given time. Ugly bikes need love too V twins are music to the seat of my pants Well-trained reflexes are quicker than luck. Whatever it is, it’s better in the wind. When you look down the road, it seems to never end – but you better believe it does. When you’re leading the ride, don’t spit. Why are motorcycle dealers closed on Sundays? Because Sunday is for worship. Catholics go to church, motorcyclists go for a ride. Work to ride & ride to work. You can forget what you do for a living when your knees are in the breeze. You start the game with a pot full of luck and an empty pot of experience... The object is to fill the pot of experience before you empty the pot of luck. Young riders pick a destination and go. Old riders pick a direction.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 5, 2011 21:31:27 GMT 10
Wow mate had to have a coffee half way through to keep up . ;D ;D ;D Good ones indeed,some rather full on life qoute's in there i reckon.
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Post by Mac on Jul 6, 2011 20:41:05 GMT 10
My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were $70!!! Blow this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web. Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy. I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move. I was driving this morning when I saw an RACV van parked. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself 'that guy's heading for a breakdown.' A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time. I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin, 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it. I thought to myself, ‘they've lost the plot!!’ AND THE BEST TILL LAST !! On holiday recently in Spain I saw a sign that said 'English speaking Doctor' - I thought, 'What a good idea, why don't we have them in our country?' ;D ;D
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